Make Your Plan to Be Free. Now.
"The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. What is called resignation is confirmed desperation. From the desperate city you go into the desperate country, and have to console yourself with the bravery of minks and muskrats. A stereotyped but unconscious despair is concealed even under what are called the games and amusements of mankind. There is no play in them, for this comes after work. But it is a characteristic of wisdom not to do desperate things."
Henry David Thoreau
Quiet desperation.
Happy Friday, it’s the weekend, followed by a case of the Mondays, a moment of hope on Humpday…aka Wednesday because you’re halfway through the week…ever closer to…another Happy Friday.
Quiet desperation.
On Monday everyone asks how your weekend was. Not bad…did some chores. Mowed the lawn. Saw some friends, but I’m sure looking forward to that vacation in 4 months.
Quiet desperation.
Ah! A vacation. That time when we travel thousands of miles away, spend thousands of dollars, to look at someone else’s parks, sunsets, and museums. To get drunk maybe, and take some selfies so the world knows we are having fun before we go back to dreading, or maybe just enduring, 5 days a week and look forward to 2.
Quiet desperation…
I did this for years because I thought I had to. I thought that was the only way. I thought…no! I knew that was the dream. That that was adulting. I had to endure that life, like a punishment for 60 years or so and hope that at the end I could have some respite. That if I worked, and saved I could have a bit of freedom one day. One Day…those words are a spell that keep us asleep. Keep us working at things we do with the intention of not having to do one day…one day.
If you read my book, you’ll know that I did this for decades. This was me in my 30’s. I say my 30’s because adulting was fun and new when I was in my 20’s. By the time I was in my 30’s it felt like a confining routine. A pretty prison. I told the story of how I woke up to this in AfterLIFE, Waking up from My American Dream. The dark night of my soul that involved losing my parents, my marriage, and a whole way of life shook me to the core and gave me a pause. In that pause I began a journey to reshape virtually every aspect of my life over the next decade and it’s a process that’s continuing until this very moment.
You don’t have to go through a tragedy to wake up and live on purpose. The most important things I did to break free from that were:
I realized how finite my time was. There was only so much room on my plate. So, as I rebuilt my life after my divorce I was extremely protective of my time. I got rid of all the things I no longer wanted to take care, like my yard and the exterior of a house. I got rid of and continue to get rid of expenses that don’t serve me. That don’t bring me joy. Like the inefficiencies of a single family home which I most people, unknowingly, cannot afford. Even when they have one. The ongoing and never ending expense of home eat people’s lives.
I used the time and money I freed up to invest in Me. My growth. My self awareness and understanding. I did this with therapy, coaches, journaling, meditation, art, lots and lots of long walks in the nature and the willingness to see other opinions, perspectives, points of views to reflect back on myself and ask what I want. Who I am.
I built a map and plan for what I wanted that gave me and intense focus on what actions I needed to take to move towards my dream. This gave me a why that refocused my How.
I’m not a coach or guru or anything like that. I learned some lesson though that have giving me a new perspective and purpose in my life. My intention with my writing and podcast is to continue to explore this subject, to find other examples to share with people who are interested, and to try to do some good, and have some fun along they way. I wasted too many years in quiet desperation and will not any more.
If you dread your Monday’s or dread the alarm clock going off…you might be living in quiet desperation. You don’t have to. In my life everyone, and everything reinforced for me that I didn’t have a choice. I’m telling you that you do.
It’s not easy, but it’s simple. Decide on the life you want, make a plan, take action.
Right now.
Here’s my story: AfterLIFE, Waking Up from My American Dream Now available in paperback, Kindle, and Audio!
And here are scores of weekly examples that I keep finding: It’s the Journey Podcast
