light at the end of the tunnel

This summer I had a hard time when people would hypothesize when this Covid mess would all be over.  Many people would set some date that it “had to be over by then” to feel a sense of control or comfort only to become sad, scared or depressed when that date came and went.  My internal reaction was always “how can we know?”  At that time there was no vaccine in sight.  Several were being worked on but there were no guarantees of when this all might be over.  So for me setting a date was a false hope I could allow myself to hang on to. My reaction was not against anyone, but just the notion that I could hope for no reason. 

 I know we all have different ways of coping, but here is what I have been doing to deal with this. I dug into what I had some level of control over.  I went for more walks in the park. I cleaned my closets.  I cleaned my storage area in the basement.  I gave away so many things. 

 I cleaned and organized my kitchen cabinets. I discovered and combined the 3 jars of cayenne pepper and 2 jars of red pepper flakes that I had because my spice cabinet was so full and disorganized, I would buy more when I already had some. 

 I got rid of pots, pans and other kitchen utensils I never used. I have a few boxes of books I’m taking to a used book store as soon as they open again to hopefully sell.  I gave away so many clothes I haven’t worn in years that are in perfect condition. I boxed up duplicates of clothing items so that I can wear a smaller number of things until they are worn out, and then I have a box of things that will be like new for me.

 I fixed some broken things I had been meaning to fix.  Painted some things that needed painting.  I replaced some lights and installed new ones.   I got to work and finished several projects including my book.  I kick started new projects like my podcast that I had been procrastinating on out of fear.  I calculated how much I’ve been saving by not driving much and not eating out and increased my security.  I have given to organizations and tried to support businesses that I know are struggling. 

 I didn’t know when this all would end and that caused me anxiety and stress like so many people I know and love as well as billions more that I don’t know, but still love.  Instead of letting the firehose of crappy news from social media and news sources bring me to a state of helplessness about things happening all over the world, I narrowed my view to the things I had some control over. That’s all we can do sometimes.

 Now, though cases are rising and it going to be a tough winter, we at least have several vaccines.  More and more experts are hypothesizing about the roll out date of when this will be over.  No one knows for sure and even as millions and eventually billions become vaccinated, we will still need to stay vigilant, wear masks and keep distant. But, it at least now there is reason to think maybe, maybe, maybe this fall we can see our family and friends.  We can hug friends again.  We can sit in cafes and bars.  We can shake hands.  Go to concerts and theaters.  I miss all this and more and cannot wait for this to be over and am so happy that instead of looking into darkness knowing that the tunnel won’t go on forever, now at least we can see the light at the end of the tunnel even if we don’t know exactly how far off it is. 

Stay safe and be well.

Love,

Carlo

Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash